Yes, always. Your customer already compares you, and that comparison decides renewals and market share long before anyone tells you. Asking is rarely intrusive. The worst answer is "I'd rather not say", and the usual answer shows what customers value, what competitors do well, and where you are exposed.
In my experience, most sellers never ask. It feels intrusive. It feels like admitting you might lose.
So they guess. They guess who else is in the deal, what the competitor offered, and why the customer hesitates. And they prepare for the competitor they imagine, not the one that is actually in the room.
The worst that can happen
What is the worst thing that can happen if you ask a customer who else they are talking to? They say they would rather not share. That's it. You lose nothing you had.
If they answer, you learn what they value, what others do well, where others fall short, and where you are exposed. One question, and the guessing stops.
A company that asked
A company we worked with was losing market share and couldn't see why. When we suggested asking their customers about the competition, they delayed. It felt intrusive, maybe even desperate.
They asked anyway. Most customers answered. They learned what the competitors did well, where they fell short, and what customers actually valued.
Then they did the harder part. They rebuilt their messaging and go-to-market around what customers told them, instead of what product development said about the product. They won the share back.
We ask it on our first calls
For us, this stopped being advice a long time ago. It is part of how we qualify. On our first calls, including with people who register through our website or our partner Richardson's, we ask the same question: who else are you talking to, besides us?
Most of them answer. Far more than my younger self would have bet on.
From that moment, we know what to prepare for, and we can clearly show where we differ from the alternative on the table, and where we are stronger or not.
Four conversations worth having
The question about the competition works best inside a conversation that is already about the customer, not about you. Four are worth having with every strategic account.
About the competition: to make sure we give you the best value, who else do you currently work with or talk to? What do you like about them? How do you feel we compare? What concerns have you had with us?
In a regular business review: how are we doing in our work for you? What could we do better? What have we done recently that you considered useful? If you could change one thing about how we work together, what would it be? Who else in your organisation should we know better?
About business as usual: how is business? What is happening in your company right now? Where do you see growth, and what is in the way? Where is the organisation heading over the next few years? I read about this change in your market: how does it affect you?
Opening doors: where do you see your own role going? I've noticed you are doing a lot of work in this area, and we know it well: how could we help?
Set up the business review right after you have worked on the account strategy, and keep it a conversation, not a presentation. It is also the most natural place to ask about the competition.
How we ask: from our own qualification standard
We have a written standard for how we qualify. I wrote it from my own qualification calls, and the question about the competition is in it. But it is not where we start. We start with problems, then we move to solutions.
Problems first. The question is simple: what problems are you experiencing? The first answer is rarely the only answer. So the key is getting deeper, and our standard is clear about how: no yes/no questions. A yes or a no closes the topic. Instead, we ask "What else?" And then we ask it again, and again, until we reach the end of the list.
Then solutions: what solutions are you considering? The goal is the same, getting deeper. Here the question is a variation on "Why?" Why is that a good solution for your organisation? The answers show you the competition. They also show you what the organisation can actually implement, and what it can't.
By the time we ask who else they are talking to, the customer has already told us what is wrong, what else is wrong, and what they think would fix it. The question about the competition then feels like part of the same conversation, not an interrogation. And the answer means more, because we know which problems they expect the alternative to solve.
Ask it once, plainly, and say why: so we can show you where we are different, and tell you honestly where we are not. "I'd rather not say" is an answer too. Pushing turns a fair question into pressure.
What to do with the answers
Answers only help if they go somewhere. Keep them in one place: a shared note or a field in your CRM, one line per conversation, with the competitor named and what the customer said about them.
After ten conversations, read the lines together with the people who write your messaging and your proposals. Look for three things: what customers value that you never mention, what a competitor does well that you have been dismissing, and the concern that keeps coming back. Those three are your next messaging work, in the customer's own words.
That is what the company in the story did, on a bigger scale.
Start with one account this month
Pick one account and one conversation. Ask who else they are talking to. Write down the answer, and one thing you would do differently because of it.
If you suspect you are losing share and can't see where, that is the kind of question a Revenue Reality Check answers: where revenue is lost, and why.
If you are losing deals and don't know to whom, 25 minutes is enough to see where to start.
Book a 25-minute call